Matt Payne

It is too bad that it isn’t call “beauty awake.” If it was, I would be a sexy bitch. Right now, it is 3:15am. I have been awake for about 45 minutes, despite having taken some kind of sleep aid at 9:15 after a glass or two of South African red wine. At 4am the [...]

I had anticipated that the secret ingredient to my pancakes at The Little Swiss House in downtown Carmel, California would be something exotic. Perhaps the vanilla extract came from a rare Tahitian orchid harvested only by Aries between the hours of 2am and 4am on clouded nights when the moon is waning. Carmel, with its [...]

For four days, I’ve been trekking across South Korea exploring the country’s delightfully diverse array of culinary expression. And while bibimbop (veggies, rice, thinly sliced meats and chili paste) and Korean barbeque (thin slices of beef cooked table top)  are the nation’s flagship dishes, it is in the hyper-stimulating markets of Korea that the country’s [...]

My life is pissing me off. Right now, I absolutely hate everything. Every tiny thing. The cat wanting more water when the bowl is full, the lawn mower outside. My neighbor’s computer informing him that “he’s got mail,” which means he still uses AOL which is also a stick up my ass. I hate that [...]

This morning, I received a text from my mom at 7am. One of those heart-stopping “you shouldn’t be texting right now kind of texts…” But before I go on, I’d like to share a story. Several years back on a trip to the south of France, my mom and dad were walking along one of [...]