Matt Payne

As we turned into Volcanoes National Park after a half-mile trek across lush hillsides dotted with young Rwandans harvesting sweet potatoes, it began to rain. It had rained earlier in the day when our group first met our guide, Feliciens, for a quick explanation about the family we would be visiting. That sudden deluge ended [...]

It is too bad that it isn’t call “beauty awake.” If it was, I would be a sexy bitch. Right now, it is 3:15am. I have been awake for about 45 minutes, despite having taken some kind of sleep aid at 9:15 after a glass or two of South African red wine. At 4am the [...]

I had anticipated that the secret ingredient to my pancakes at The Little Swiss House in downtown Carmel, California would be something exotic. Perhaps the vanilla extract came from a rare Tahitian orchid harvested only by Aries between the hours of 2am and 4am on clouded nights when the moon is waning. Carmel, with its [...]

For four days, I’ve been trekking across South Korea exploring the country’s delightfully diverse array of culinary expression. And while bibimbop (veggies, rice, thinly sliced meats and chili paste) and Korean barbeque (thin slices of beef cooked table top)  are the nation’s flagship dishes, it is in the hyper-stimulating markets of Korea that the country’s [...]

By Wayne the Disgruntled Tourist So earlier this week, I had to go to Winter Park. I guess I should have known the whole thing was gonna be messed up just by the name of the town. Here I am going to a place called Winter Park and it’s the middle of the god damn [...]